Brendas final days were spent at the Marie Curie hospice on Frogston Road in Edinburgh. The staff were brilliant and I can’t thank them enough for their care and compassion. Brendas last week in the hospice was sadly spent in a drug induced coma. The pain had got so severe that they had to medicate her with such a high dosage of a combination of drugs. I stayed by her side for a total of fourteen days and nights – holding her hand, kissing her and talking to her in the hope she could still hear me. I apologised to her for all my failures as a husband and asked for her forgiveness. I eventually found myself praying to god to take her, to let her be at peace. She was finally taken on the evening of Friday the 6^th of October at just 59 years old. She had so much left to live for.

 I lost my wife prematurely due to what I believe to be significant failures with competency, protocols, procedures and lack of resource and funding within the NHS

The reality of cancer

Most of us will face cancer in our lifetime. Some maybe even more than once. My intention is not for this story to scare you. It is to provide you with information we gained from our own experiences through Brendas diagnosis and treatment, and to use it as a tool to advocate for yourself and have the confidence to be included in the decisions being made to keep you alive as long as possible. Don’t take your eye off the ball, do your own research and have the confidence to challenge anything that you don’t understand or agree with. Push for your receptors to be checked if treatment lines aren’t stabilising your cancer. Be brave.

 Brenda was my everything. My wife and best friend. Her greatest joy in life was helping and caring for other people. She never put herself first, even when she was fighting this horrible disease. She was kind, polite and calm, but also had an incredible sense of humour – the silly kind. We miss her every minute of the day. Life is very different now; it feels like a different world. But she is in our hearts forever and we will never forget her love and warmth. Forever missed. She deserved better from the NHS and those that represent them. Just as we all do.